> You're finding comforting explanations to allow you to act dismissively towards other people.
No, none of this is comforting. For some people it is a big step to not drop everything just because someone is waiting for the bus and wants to have a 15 minute phone call in order to de-stress their own day.
> If you feel worn out after listening to other people, that's one way to avoid that, at the expense of human connection.
Not every human connection is a net positive.
> You gain options, not lose any.
Please let me complete the options I already have before putting more options on my TODO list.
> You can learn to have more control over your own inner state without effort
That's ableism.
People are unique, and while I appreciate you taking the time to write these lines you might be coming from a very different place. To be a bit snarky, maybe you are more on the energy consumer side of things than on the energy producer side. People have a magic radar for others who make them feel heard, but there is a certain bandwidth and it's limits must be respected.
I don't see how something can be "ableism" that can be learned by anyone. You may not want to, which is totally fine, or you may not know how to, which is also fine, but to claim you couldn't do it without even trying is just yet another convenient and comforting display of avoidance.
It's OK not to want to be in connection with others whose behavior you don't agree with, but it's not necessary and from my perspective counter-productive for yourself and society as a whole to turn that into a permission to act in hostile ways against them, especially if you're not providing clear feedback. In fact, unless you provide that in an open way, they will not change their ways around you, so you're losing a lot of chances to influence people around you in situations where you simply cannot decide to avoid them altogether. You're not in control over which humans you interact with, and you're turning interactions into exchanges of aggression unnecessarily.
No, none of this is comforting. For some people it is a big step to not drop everything just because someone is waiting for the bus and wants to have a 15 minute phone call in order to de-stress their own day.
> If you feel worn out after listening to other people, that's one way to avoid that, at the expense of human connection.
Not every human connection is a net positive.
> You gain options, not lose any.
Please let me complete the options I already have before putting more options on my TODO list.
> You can learn to have more control over your own inner state without effort
That's ableism.
People are unique, and while I appreciate you taking the time to write these lines you might be coming from a very different place. To be a bit snarky, maybe you are more on the energy consumer side of things than on the energy producer side. People have a magic radar for others who make them feel heard, but there is a certain bandwidth and it's limits must be respected.